Should I leave the varsity team given this context

Hi Coach,

This is a question about decision-making in table tennis, particularly in a college varsity team context. I've been wanting to ask if whether or not I should leave the varsity team. I apologize in advance for really making this long, but I think it would be best to explain my context.  

Just for the context, I've been a member of the university table tennis team since 2015 but I stopped for a year and went back to the team in 2017. My return to the team really stirred my motivation to play table tennis competitively once again. I was very persistent with the training programs. But it was not until last month when I realized that our training program doesn't seem to be effective at all. I still enjoy playing table tennis and I'm really looking forward to really level-up my game like never before, but I don't think I'm in the right place or in the right university team to be able to achieve that because of our seemingly counterproductive training. I think a big factor of this is the fact that our university has always been at the bottom place for the past x years, and also, I don't see the training area to be a conducive space for actually improving and enjoying table tennis. Because of this, I decided to take a break from training in the university and went to play in clubs instead. Boy was I surprised by how my enjoyment and satisfaction for the sport skyrocketed. Although I don't think I greatly improved from doing this, I definitely felt my love for the sport much more. Recently in several occasions, I paid the team a visit in the university and trained with them, but I was left unsatisfied with my performance and the time spent in every occasion. I am not really sure what caused this to happen. Perhaps in might be because of the environment, or the psychological effect of always finishing last, or possibly because the team does not see me as someone who's of a value as a player. We had a meeting about the team recently and it was very stressful discussing about the problems with the team. This is when it hit me and told myself: "i do not get any benefits from staying in the varsity team, nor do I even have the privilege to have an athletic scholarship. Why am I even staying here all stressed-out?", and I remember that the only thing keeping me from leaving the team is the opportunity to be able to play for the university league...

Now I am in the stage of reflecting if it is really worth going through all this stress and sacrificing most of my time just to be able to play for the league even if I don't think I'd be able to unlock my full potential in the university training... If I were to leave the team, on the other hand, I think it's also not without disadvantages. If I leave, I won't be able to play in the league anymore, and I might probably lose some friends from the team because some might judge me as being "selfish". But at the same time, I would be able to spent much more time with my family while still being able to play in clubs. I think table tennis would be much more enjoyable if I were to quit. And I even think that following this path would even help me improve a lot faster compared to if I were to stay in the varsity team. Right now, I am leaning towards the quitting side, but I really want to make sure if this would be the right choice.

Thank you so much Coach! I apologize for this extensively long question, but I feel much better now that I've shared this concern of mine to someone who actually understands what I'm going through. :)

Hi,

I think this is always a difficult decision.  I would say go with what makes you happy.  At this stage it sounds like going to the club is the way to go.